It's been a while. Too long of a while, I'm sorry. How is it up there? What is it like to look down on your loved ones? Do you really see the hurt and suffering the way that we see and feel it? I'm just curious, Mommy. David is in 1st grade now. He's doing good in school. I'm trying to be the best Mom I can be. I try to instill in him all the things you've taught me. He is my best friend, just like I was yours. God, I miss you so much. That is something that will never change until you're waiting on the other side for me. Almost 2 years and our last goodbye still plays over in my mind every night while I'm laying in bed. I hold that night so close to my heart because I cherish our last goodbye. I cherish the fact that I had that opportunity with you to give you a final goodbye before you left forever. I cherish the fact that I held your hand through it all. I cherish the fact that you were the greatest Mother in the world & cherish the fact even more that you were mine. It seems the only time I can let out some emotions is if I come on the computer listen to some music and let myself cry. I can't really cry at your grave anymore. But it's there. If they did an x-ray on my heart, they'd see how many pieces it is in. I sit here and wonder how much different it is for you now. Who you're spending your time up there with... Grandma, Papa & Uncle David as well as Grandma & Grandpa (your parents). Someday, I'll know the answer. Mommy, just look over Daddy. He needs your guidance. He misses you and is so absolutely heartbroken without you. I worry about him so much. I wish I knew what to do to make it better... I miss you so much & love you more... Yesterday, today, tomorrow, always...