Janine 25th November 2007

Good morning, mommy. I know you don't want us to be sad. You want us to get into the spirit of the holidays, but it's so hard when we used to do all of this with you. I never imagined losing my mother so soon. I envy the ones who still have theirs. I know I still have you, but I want you here. I want to see you. I had a dream with you in it last night. But you still weren't telling me you were okay. You looked like you did before you were sick, but I don't know, maybe you did tell me, and I just didn't pick up on the sign. God, Mommy.... I went to the prayer house last night, and I asked God why you??? I'm sorry but it's just how I feel... Why did I have to lose out on you? Why did my mom have to go? I felt that way with Grandma too. Tell Grandma I still think of her (even though I'm sure she knows) and that I miss her dearly too. I wish the two of you TOGETHER will come to Daddy & I... I love you guys, all of you, with every single piece of me. Love you -- yesterday, today, tomorrow, always...