mom i just want to pull your right out these pictures and just wrap my arms around you. i need one of your hugs so bad right now mommy. god i wish i could just turn back time and fix it all where everything would be okay and you, you would still be here. now all i can do is sit at your grave and just wonder the what if's... what if we found a cure and you were here again.. what if we could have those last few days, even hours back....what would we do different? you held up your left arm to me at 3:30 a.m. on 11/4/07, you looked at me and asked me to hold your hand. i held it as i rubbed your face. mommy, you told me you loved me, and i told you i loved you back and that it would be okay. i tried my hardest not to let you see the tears that were building in my eyes. So I just told you to rest, that I'll be right next to you for whatever you needed. I never left your side. I long for those moments again. That stupid chair has become so sentimental to me. I slept it that chair for the last three months of your life, I still do some times now too. This site is the only thing I have to turn to try to spill the feelings I have inside. The tears I need to flow come from me sitting here writing to you. I love you Mommy, with every single piece of me... Yesterday, today, tomorrow, always....