Janine 22nd February 2008

a motherless daughter. thats what i have become. i know you had no choice in leaving, but i wish i had a choice in making you stay. not to suffer any more pain though, but to make you better, and keep you here. bring you back to the way you used to be. i'm missing you so much lately mommy. daddy doesn't understand how i'm feeling inside. he's got a thousand people to turn to, and a reason to feel sorry for himself. but i don't. between the fact of working all week and then trying to move... when do i have time for me? my life is changing rapidly, and god how i need your hugs and words of wisdom right now. everyone tells me how proud you would be of me right now. im such astrong girl. they dont know how weak i am without you. i barely get through the day without feeling the impact of losing you at least once..i wish that just one more time... i could be with you again, doesn't matter where how or when, but sooner than later, just to be able to say everything that i can't anymore. i miss coming home laying in bed with you just talkinug about everything and anything that came to mind... i miss going out on sundays and shopping with you... our favorite restaurant is no longer open... and as pathetic as it sounds, it broke my heart. it was like another piece of you being ripped away.... i love you mommy. with every single piece of me. yesterday, today, tomorrow, always.